Free to Be Me!

28 Jun
from Google Images

from Google Images

Recently, I’ve come face to face with some very uncomfortable emotions, like becoming angry with God.[1] I realize this is wrong, and even in my anger I understand it is wrong and confess to him that although I am angry, I understand that he is perfectly righteous. Moreover, I also understand in my anger toward God that he is not only aware of my disposition toward him, but, in spite of it, he is working out all things in my life for my ultimate good (Romans 8:28). I confess my ignorance of his will and apologize for my inner wrath, but still this is most discomforting.

I often have problems breathing, whether because of allergies acting up or at other times due to the swelling of air passages, perhaps as a result of weight gain or older age, don’t know. Probably more than any other reason, it is the labor and discomfort of each breath on such occasions that cause my annoyance with life in general, and this builds up continually. Finally, I lash out at someone who cares for me, or I simply lash out at God in prayer. I know this is so contradictory, but the fact is he knows my heart anyway. Doesn’t he? So, whether it is the thoughts of my heart or the words of my mouth, he knows it! When I was younger and perhaps more resilient, I may have been able to hide such feelings from others, and perhaps even deny them in my heart, but the light and the darkness are the same for God (Psalm 139:12); my heart is never hidden to him. Think about it. How often are our prayers more like lists of complaints about how the Lord is handling our lives, or is it only I who am this way?

Is God ever disappointed with me? After all, if he knows all things, and knows my life from beginning to end (Psalm 139:3), how can he ever be disappointed with anything I say or do? Sometimes I am so paralyzed by my desire to hide my emotions that I seem to believe my merciful Lord might be down to his last packet of grace and mercy. Hiding and keeping my emotions within is so painful and, if I’m perfectly honest, so unnecessary. God is Light and in him is no darkness at all (1John 1:5). God became one of us (John 1:14). Jesus wept! (John 11:35), and heals us out of anger (Mark 3:1-5) and at other times out of compassion (Matthew 14:14). He lived among us as a real person, and the Gospel writers recorded what they were able to observe with their own eyes. The bottom line is that the New Testament reveals our God, not only as Father, but as Daddy (Mark 14:36; Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:6). If I cannot be honest with Daddy, where else can I turn?

Similarly, we, as a body of believers, are the Body of Christ. We are the image of Christ that he left behind. He is the Head, and we are the members or parts of his body (1Corinthians 12:12, 27). Surely, we should be able to be honest with one another, helping and healing one another, encouraging and embracing one another. But, alas, rather than having the heart of the unguarded child (Matthew 18:3), many in the church have learned not to expose their feelings before their brethren, and to not expect healing of their damaged emotions and the like to come through them. Too often, it seems, I have am guilty of not confessing my own faults. Confession begets healing, and healing enables living out my life as God intended. Nevertheless, by hiding my sin, I’ve deceived myself (Galatians 6:3), and have judged others rather than reach out to them in a gesture of healing, and this posture almost seems epidemic in the Body of Christ.

Healing cannot come through my covering my own sin. Rather, my sins are covered through the love and acceptance of my friends (1Peter 4:8). Confession is necessary for me to be free to be who I am; and those among us, who have long practiced walking in the light, should be able to say with Paul: “Do those things which you have… seen in me.” Such people not only delight in sharing the Gospel with others, but their own lives as well (cp. 1Thessalonians 2:8).

Christ has not only commissioned us to preach the Gospel to other folks, but has commanded us to remove the mask in which we have trusted and gaze with our spirits into the Spirit of the Lord. There we will be changed into the image of Christ in “an ever increasing splendor, from one degree of glory to another” (2Corinthians 3:18; Amplified Version). Herein is healing for others, and herein is healing found for me. In Christ, I am free to be me—to fully become the person he has always intended me to be. In the Body of Christ it is accomplished, as I am helped by more mature brethren, and as I help those brethren who look to me for the same (cp. John 3:21).


[1] As I said HERE, this current theme about the person of Jesus is based upon the book: The Jesus Style by Gayle Erwin. They are my thoughts about his book. He may or may not agree with the impression his book has made upon me, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading what Gayle wrote and recommend his book to anyone who is looking for a good read about Jesus.


Posted by on June 28, 2015 in Jesus


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2 responses to “Free to Be Me!

  1. Reality

    June 28, 2015 at 11:29

    Many times as we grow we act as children, sometimes spoilt children; human nature. Many times we see ourselves alone; while we have the HOST completely surrounding us. HE didn’t say it would be easy (take up your cross and follow me); but HE and the others HE places to help us are always there, watching out after our Souls. We learn from these experiences. We grow to appreciate those who watch out for us (and the same is EXPECTED back; when needed). We are family; we share the same DAD.

    • Eddie

      June 29, 2015 at 06:52

      Thank you for your encouragement! Lord bless.


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